The first three paintings are a triptych of leaves. In the first two paintings, set in early and late fall, the leaves resemble a couple dancing.  As they fall through the sky the dead brown oak leaf reaches out to the lively green one.  























 In “Leaves,” the second of the series, the sky is a reddish black color, there are glowing streetlights, and the moon is in the background. The earth boasts of tilled rolling hills.



















The third is set in early winter, here; the leaves are covered with sleet.                                                  

The final painting of the triptych, “Gone,” is about the experience of losing a loved one; the family members are standing above as the form disintegrates onto the earth. There are green stones for remembrance around the brown fallen leaf.  Even though the sky has blues and there are spirited colors in the background, there is much pain in the subject.




During the painting process, I rhythmically scraped into the paint while it was still wet, with my thumbnail, to achieve the effect of gritty loss.
 

        In “Van Gogh’s Heaven” I was thinking of Van Gogh’s struggles, waking up in an intermediary place before heaven, and about the visionary, Emanuel Swedenborg, writing of Van Gogh’s experience. The room is apricot colored, and the glass door looks out onto a warm, tropical scene. Van Gogh’s “crows”, the crows he painted before he took his life, can be seen through the glass doors.   They represent working through life’s difficulties before moving to heaven.
The colors are bright and encouraging. The floorboards hearken back to Van Gogh’s paintings.

This painting is the first of the series in this collection about windows to eternity.  












   

In “Monet’s Heaven” the window represents earthly attachments opening up to Monet’s wild poppy dreamland, this signifies the transition from life on earth to heaven. The right windowpane opens up and begins to dissolve into the garden. I used large brushes with thin layers of paint to create movement and give the feel of wispy transitions.  The poppies on the hillside are painted with thicker paint and smaller strokes that have rhythm and joyful bright color.
This painting was also influenced by Matisse’s window paintings.

“New Playful World” describes a person moving emotionally from a restrained life on earth to a more lighthearted one. In this painting I was influenced by Fairfield Porter’s playful color filled landscapes. I sought to paint a story of a person who moves from a dark world to a lighthearted spiritual world. The trees are talking to each other joyfully, and the sky echoes the foreground.

       In “New Life,” the windowpane acts as a transition from this life crossing over to the next. The scene through the window has multiple perspectives from looking downward onto foamy water to looking outward, across a lake at two volcanic mountains. The mountains symbolize eternal married partners. In this painting the window frame shows resistance to moving over, yet the water and mountains are alive and encouraging.

“Hockney’s Heaven” is full of brilliant colors and leads the eye to two trees representing two eternal married partners. There is a reddish path that leads behind the trees, beyond the pool and back into the landscape. The red and whitish trees represent the marriage of good and truth. The ocean in the background is the Pacific. I was influenced by David Hockney, a colorful California painter, and by my family camping trips in California where we saw beautiful scenic areas.

“Child’s Play” is similar to “Hockney’s Heaven” but is about a grouping of childlike friends, which are the bushes and trees, all enjoying life together.

 “Celestial Heaven” is about the highest love because it is of God’s love and light pouring inwards on two pots.  The pots are symbolic of two married people in the highest heaven, receiving the Lord’s ever-present love and wisdom. It evolved out of the other paintings as a way to describe an immediate feeling of God wrapping us in warmth.

And finally, “Becoming” describes me thinking of waking up in heaven, to my favorite spot of peace in my house, my deck. There I am looking out at my favorite old apple tree, which my father planted on the property as a sapling many years ago.  It is called “Becoming” because it moves from rigid branches to sweeping, lively branches peering out the other side of the deck’s beams.

Painting this series of works has taken me on a journey through loss, survival, hope, pain and joy.

 Reflection

What is  your experience of walking through this regeneration journey with Gillian?   As you look at the paintings, can you feel the sacred space that she was in when she painted them?  Can they be, for you, a form of prayer?

In your life, when do you feel most connected with the Divine?  In church?  Walking in the woods?  Listening to music?  Drawing? Writing?  Find those moments in your life when God's inflow is most clear to you.  Can you let yourself have more of those moments, as your time of prayer?

The Prayer, David Foster

I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

I pray we 'Il find your light, and hold it in our hearts
When stars go out each night,
Remind us where you are
Let this be our prayer, when shadows fill our day
Help us find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe

A world where pain and sorrow will be ended
And every heart that's broken will he mended
And we'll remember we are all God's children
Reaching out to touch you
Reaching to the sky

We ask that life be kind, and watch us from above
We hope each soul will find another soul to love
Let this be our prayer, just like every child

Who needs to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
Needs to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe